Inevitably It's Okay

Hello Emmanuel,

What an interesting time of year.

There are about 4 weeks between Thanksgiving and Christmas.  The Church calls the time ‘Advent’.  It is supposed to be a time of preparation for the coming of Christ.  I say that there is much more preparation that happens.  It’s a time of year that keeps me busy, some for not all the good reasons.  Consider the following:

First, you have four weeks to prepare for the 2^nd family gathering in … well… 4 weeks.  Depending on how your family Thanksgiving went, you get the chance to prepare for the next family gathering.  I, personally, had a really good Thanksgiving with the family.  A positive Thanksgiving experience lends itself to looking forward to family at Christmas.  However, I know that there are negative family experiences out there on any given Thanksgiving.  Indeed, the dysfunction of family relationships (of which we all have to some degree at some point in time) can create the need to vent to the pastor (it’s why I’m here… so feel free).  In addition, it creates angst as one awaits the follow-up to meeting with the same family in 4 weeks for Christmas.  Ideally, it should be anticipation, not angst.  However, we are human beings.  Ideals aren’t always the reality.

Second, these 4 weeks almost always see an increase in hospital visits and stay-at-home illnesses.  The scientist would say this is a result in climate and bacteria and viruses that get passed from one to another.  I am also in good company when I suggest that these 4 weeks create more stress and stress lends itself to illness.  Lots of reasons for an increase in stress:  Thanksgiving family debacles; pressures of buying the perfect gifts; irritating drivers in heavier-than-usual traffic; remembering happy memories of loved ones who are no longer with us; and my personal favorite, feeling the need to look joyful even when you are not because we are taught that if we don’t, then there must be something wrong.

Third, I believe that we have more sadness to cope with during these 4 weeks.  Thanksgivings/Christmases are triggers for many of our hearts.  We participate in repeated traditions that bring memories of those who we loved dearly.  We remember spending time with relatives and friends during a time when we didn’t realize how good we had it.  This time of year can truly become a month-long memorial service.  (but don’t forget to look joyful… because if you don’t, then there must be something wrong).

So what do we do?  I wish I had a magical answer to solve this polemic problem in December.  I don’t have a magical answer.  I do believe I have a biblical one.  At the risk of sounding too curt:  do you have Jesus in your heart?

Advent is a time to look forward to Jesus.  This doesn’t always solve our immediate problems/stresses during these 4 weeks.  However let me throw out my personal perspective that allows me to keep an even keel to at least to some degree.  I’ve learned over the years that Christmas, for me, is more about peace than about joy.  I can live through these 4 weeks knowing that Jesus is coming.  And Jesus trumps any ups and downs that this month can bring me.  At the end of the 4 weeks, I get to hear and tell the story of the Christ-child.  That particular ending of this season has helped defuse any kind of December we might have.

Anticipating the coming of Christ helps minimize any angst regarding family dysfunction; helps put in perspective what kinds of stress is really worth dealing with; and is a reminder that resurrection is a real part of my faith.  Advent helps me get ready…. Not for a month-long memorial service… but for a birth story.  Celebrating Advent as it is truly intended gives me some peace to balance out the chaos.  I might not feel like it on December 2^nd or 12^th or 19^th…. But on the evening of December 24^th when I escape to worship service, I feel like it… I feel like God found a way to make things ok… if not great.

God is Good,

Pastor Joe

Monday Morning Pulpit - If You Haven't Noticed..

Hello Emmanuel,

As we approach the season of Thanksgiving, I am moved to remind all of us of the many acts of grace that go on behind the scenes that help the church be the church.  Some people like to be behind the scenes; don’t necessarily look for attention; believe anonymity is always a good thing; and some can even get a bit perturbed when a simple thank-you comes their way.  To them I say:  ‘Stop reading now.  It might perturb you’.

I am thankful for the Trustees of Emmanuel.  There is an interesting history amidst the Trustees of Emmanuel, dating back to the large building project a decade ago.  However, I believe there is a saying in regards to the Trustees of any church that is not unlike being an umpire or referee of a baseball game.  They only get noticed when things are not going well.

The Trustees have the 2^nd largest budget of any of the 12 ministry teams.  There is a reason for this (and a valid argument that their budget should be larger).  They have to make sure that the things you don’t notice when you walk into the building stay un-noticed.  For example, no one notices the carpet until the carpet is dirty.  No one notices the parking lot unless it gets potholes.  No one notices the tree until it falls on a car.  No one notices the roof until it leaks.  No one notices the bathrooms until you are told you can’t use it.  No one notices the parsonage (and some don’t even know where it is…. See?  The pastor likes anonymity too.) until the 82 gallon hot water heater stops working.

Not that we should look for attention.  That isn’t my point.  We should do what God Calls us to do because God is good to us.  Period.  However, sometimes God also wants us to find that person who likes anonymity and say ‘thank you’.

Now no ministry team is perfect (and, no, I’m not going to list all of our flaws) and the Trustees are no exception.  There are projects that get stuck in adverse limbo.  However, I think there is a unique challenge for a team that does behind-the-scenes work.  When the Worship Team does well, you can see it in front of you… experience it.  When the Missions Team does well, it gets celebrated and we feel glad for helping those in need.  But when the Trustees do well, it can be missed because it’s their job to help you NOT notice the assumptions you make (a smooth parking lot, an unleaky roof, a working bathroom, a clean carpet).

So I want to say ‘thank you’ to the Trustees.  Some of them may not like the attention, but too bad (I already told you to stop reading after the first paragraph).  The building is getting used 6 or 7 days a week by 300+ people every week.  There are unique challenges that come with such a schedule.  It isn’t easy.  The Trustees have worked all year to step up their game.  While they are not where they want to be, positive steps forward have been taken….. even if you haven’t noticed.  Momentum is being gained.

Elevator inspections; fire alarm management; hiring cleaners; fixing leaky pipes; replacing dishwashers; fixing furnaces; changing light bulbs; fixing toilets; tweaking sump pumps; painting; replacing broken windows; getting keys made; shampooing carpets; ….  Why am I trying to list everything????

Thank you.

God is Good,

Pastor Joe

When And How To Whine

Hello Emmanuel,

It’s Monday.  Not only is it Monday, but it is a Monday when I get to sit at an insurance meeting for clergy.  Yea!  Rah!  I’m so thrilled at such an event that I chose to not even dress up like a professional.  I’m wearing my Reds hoodie and warm-up pants.  It’s my version of protest.  (yes, I realize that no one cares).

If you want my blood pressure to go up, bring up issues of the insurance/medical world to me.  Then when my blood pressure goes up, send me to a doctor.  Then wait until I get a bill.  Then watch my blood pressure go up.  It’s a vicious cycle.  It’s actually a genius move for the insurance/medical world… if I actually believed in conspiracies.

So I’m not exactly thrilled right now.  I could go into details and talk about things like $10,000 deductibles and what all isn’t covered and how over-charged I am for things I can buy at Walmart… but I don’t want to sound like I’m whining…  then again, it’s probably too late for that.

But here is the irony of it all and the one reason I shouldn’t be whining:  my wife is an occupational therapist.  As an occupational therapist, she is given the privilege of reaping the benefits of being in the insurance/medical world.  It is the one reason I can’t cry too loud.  This mixed blessing/curse leads me to this week’s topic.

I’m very careful when and how I complain.  I’m also very careful in when and how I celebrate.  (I know this might be hard for some of you to believe).  What is a curse for one can be a blessing for another.  So as I pastor a church, I try to be careful.  It’s one of the reasons you don’t hear me talk Republican/Democrat stuff or conservative/liberal stuff.  There’s too much blessing and curse(ing) on both sides of the fence.  (However, I reserve the right to complain about the Steelers and Yankees.  This isn’t hypocrisy if God is a Cincinnati fan…. I mean, God IS a Cincinnati fan.. right?)

This isn’t to say I never complain or celebrate when it comes to certain topics.  However, I am encouraged to stay focused on God.  God gives me plenty to fill my day.  God keeps my mind and heart and spirit very busy.  Granted, my job gives me an advantage in that I’m reminded every day what and who I should be focused on.  However, even I can become distracted and sucked into issues and arguments that may not matter so much in the realm of God’s concerns and joys.

So I encourage you to stay focused.  Don’t hesitate to ask the question: ‘does this matter to God?’  Even if you don’t know the answer, just asking the question will remind you that not everything is worth complaining or celebrating about.  It may save you some precious time and decrease your blood pressure... much to the demise of the insurance/medical world.

The insurance representative is still talking.  She probably thinks I’m typing all the ‘important’ information that she is sharing.  Most of it is greek to me.  I think I’ll let me wife handle it.

God is Good,

Pastor Joe

My Cat Doesn't Care

Hello Emmanuel,

First, thanks to everyone who showed appreciation to me during Pastor’s Appreciation Month.  In a Call that can be very challenging, it’s encouraging to be reminded how loved I am. 

But my cat doesn’t care……

Dora has a good life and a very strong personality.  We call her Catdog (based off an old cartoon) because she has dog-like characteristics.  She knows that when Kim gets up in the morning that it is time to eat, but she won’t eat until Kim is in the same room.  She will go to bed with us when it is time and sleep at the foot of the bed until we disturb her enough… then she sleeps beside us on the floor.  She waits at the picture window while we are gone and runs to the door when we get home.  She doesn’t bark, but it is probably because she thinks she is too cool to do so.  She knows when she is doing something wrong (like trying to sneak outside or into the garage) and expects to be chastised when she gets caught.  She snores quite loudly at times and likes to play around 8:00 at night.  You can see how she may think the world revolves around her.

So while I may feel very appreciated….. my cat doesn’t care.

There is a lot of debate about the state of an animal’s soul (or even if there is one).  I won’t go into that debate here, though biblically one could go either way.  What I want to focus on is the uniqueness of us humans and what we DO know about us.

We care that we love each other.  This really comes through in a healthy church.  Over the past month I experienced more than appreciation.  I’ve been experiencing more than a few moments when people chose to love each other.  I’m not ashamed to admit that I got warm, fuzzy feelings.

And the love is being developed into ministry programs as well.  We started a new Small Group yesterday.  It was a great start and if you are not a part of a Small Group, you are invited to try this one out through mid December (Sundays at 7:00 PM). 

Tiffany McGuire has scheduled a meeting for volunteers for the new Elder and Family Care Ministry.  It will be November 14^th at 6:30.

Youth continues to schedule events and Saturday worship for adults AND Children is off to a good start (we had 7 kids last Saturday).

God loves us.  And though my cat may not care, I still like it when a plan comes together.

God is Good,

Pastor Joe

Tv's, Zombies and My Very Smart Wife

Hello Emmanuel,

My wife talks to the tv.  I’ll probably get into trouble for writing about this.  Of all people in the house, I talk to the tv more than anyone.  My passion for the Reds and Bengals encourages me to do so.  I know they can’t hear me, but my frustration or my need to celebrate gets the best of me.  I talk to the tv too… sometimes I yell things at the tv (one of the reasons I watch sports by myself).

But the Bengals and Reds are real people playing a real game.  Zombies?  They aren’t so real.

The Walking Dead is a popular tv show.  Kim likes it probably too much.  If she ever has blood pressure issues, it is probably between 9 and 10 o’clock on Sunday nights.  She tries to warn people when there are zombies just around the corner and she will verbally question a person’s wisdom of walking down a dark hallway with a weak flashlight.  They never listen to her.  Then again, it’s been claimed that I don’t listen to her either.  Maybe I’m to blame for her semi-entertaining behavior?

Before I get into too much trouble, I should probably come up with a point for this illustration.  The point is this:  Kim is very smart.  She knows when you are in trouble.  Her skill at anticipating the tragic moment of getting bit by a zombie is unparalleled.  There.  Now that I’ve balanced my critique of Kim’s tv watching and her higher intellect (thus clearly getting me out of trouble) let’s get to the real point.

How often do you talk to God?  Do you talk to God more than you talk to the tv?  I suspect God listens better.  Do you yell at God more than at the tv?  Again… God probably listens better.  I’m not going to spend time discussing how God may or may not respond.  For this MMP, I just want to suggest that there is value in just talking to God, regardless of His response.  There is a certain kind of psychological comfort when your faith says that God listens.  He hears you.  He wants your interaction.

And it doesn’t so much matter your emotional state.  A Pastor of mine once suggested to me that it may be okay to even vent frustration at God….. that God just might be able to handle it.  While we are taught to speak to God with reverence, the reality is that sometimes we aren’t happy with God.  I want you to know that it’s okay.  You wouldn’t be the first.  Indeed, more than one person in the Bible had moments of displeasure with God and told Him about it. 

But what you also need to know is that, while you may vent at God, understand that He inevitably knows best, even when you are the most scared or frustrated or even angry.  In the end, I do believe we will understand all that we don’t understand now.  It’s one understanding that I hold onto even in those moments when I throw up my hands in frustration.  God promises new life.   God also promises peace.  There are days when I’m more thankful for the peace.

So the next time you want to yell at the tv, know that the tv doesn’t care what you say.  God does.  Not that I would ever suggest that God would need to save you from zombies, but Matthew 27:51-53 might say otherwise.  This scripture reference is for Kim to read….. and for my continued entertainment purposes.

God is Good,

Pastor Joe

The Curses of Managing People

Hello Emmanuel,

Managing people is difficult business.  I don’t know how God does it.

Emmanuel, for the most part, is powered by the Holy Spirit to forge forward, even it means to change how things are done…. Even if it means to change who does them.  I’m not sure I’m used to this even after 4 years of it.  It’s certainly refreshing not to preach 40 sermons a year on how to not be in a rut (only 10 or so), but I’m learning that there are different kinds of challenges in such a progressive-thinking church (relatively speaking).

So as the church changes and new and more people get involved, let’s consider what I have seen as the challenges (and how my preaching may be tweaked in the future).

1.  Know when to pull back on the reigns.

I didn’t think I’d ever need reigns.  However, I am learning that there is a certain point when stopping a ministry or keeping a ministry from starting can actually be healthy for a church.  For example, there is a tendency for progressive-churches to duplicate ministry, causing it to become poor stewards of its resources.  Or another example is when leadership isn’t equipped to start such a great idea, setting itself up for failure… or worse… pain and hurt.  Or a third example is when there is an idea that is not going to help the circle chart go around as effectively as another idea might.

I still don’t like to pull on the reigns.  I actually detest the idea and have done it so rarely that I can’t count more than a few instances over the years.  But the great thing about Emmanuel is that resources (time, money, people, energy) will get used.  I’m feeling the responsibility to make sure they get used as wisely as possible (keep the circle chart going, people).

2.  Communication gets more complicated

It’s a continuing frustration for me as my wife can attest to.  I’m concluding that there is no such thing as a perfect communication system.  People plan differently, implement differently and communicate at different levels with different intentions.  I’m thanking Lori, our administrative assistant, more often in my prayers as she has really caught on to the use of the google calendar.  I dread to think what I would NOT have time to do if I spent my week making sure communication in the church was going smoothly 100% of the time.  I would be a very frustrated pastor.

Please, please, please communicate with each other effectively and timely.  When I see disruption or frustration in ministry, it is usually because of a lack of communication.  And while I am not immune to forgetting how to communicate, I can promise you that I lose sleep when I do.

3.  Christian people don’t always like each other

There you have it.  I typed it.  I even put it in bold.  Wouldn’t we all love to see 100% harmony in the church?  I would.  My job would be easy.  The reality is that some people simply will not like each other.  There can be lots of reasons for this.  I can often explain it, but sometimes I can’t.  However, if communication issues wouldn’t take up most of my time, dealing with how so-and-so doesn’t get along with so-and-so would take up much of it.

God loves us all.  We are commanded to love one another.  Sometimes I am to love someone I don’t like too well.  So what?  God has every right to not like me very well, but He loves me anyhow.  If we can recognize that we are all flawed, then we can move forward together by embracing the good that comes out of being a faith community.  And when the chance to hold each other accountable comes along, we can do so in the midst of trust and forgiveness.

So how do we deal with the challenges?

We use our resources the best we can; communicate the best we can; and love each other the best we can and let God take care of the rest.  I refuse to micromanage.  Emmanuel can’t afford a pastor to delve into every nook and cranny of the above issues without there being a cost.  The cost would be a church that is too busy being a perfectionist and not busy enough being a house of grace.  This creates a church that becomes too focused internally and not focused enough externally.

I am blessed to be at Emmanuel.  I am blessed to be freed up to tackle my Call to lead a church to be a disciple-making church.  Let’s continue to do so even as our challenges change over time.

God is Good,

Pastor Joe

Ready To Be Evaluated?

Hello Emmanuel,

My annual evaluation is over….. I think…..

Every year around this time, I am evaluated on two different fronts.  First, Emmanuel evaluates me via the Staff-Parish Relations Committee.  It is a team made up of extremely wise people who have high intelligence, good looks and plenty of great faith…. At least that is what I tell them.

They gave me an ‘A+’ evaluation.  (insert smiley face here…. With a wink)

For those who doubt the high integrity and vast insight of the SPRC, let me attempt to put your mind at ease.  In the United Methodist Church, the SPRC is only part of my evaluation.  I also get evaluated at the District level.  Every year around this time, I go to the District office and have a one-on-one with the Superintendent of the Ohio River Valley District that oversees the 100+ churches in the Cincinnati Region.

Ever hear of the saying ‘flattery gets you nowhere?’

I obviously jest regarding both parts of my evaluation process.  However, it is two very different kinds of evaluating.  For one, with the SPRC, there is an aspect of personal relationships involved.  We work together; do ministry together; solve problems together; create problems together; hurt, love and celebrate together.  It would be impossible not to have an amount of subjectivity when evaluating how I do my job.  It’s human.

So there is also the other side.  The district—because they don’t work among us through the year—get to look at my work from a more analytical perspective.  How is attendance?  Giving?  Membership? Small Groups?  Hospitality?  What are our goals?  How are we going to get there?

Not to suggest that the two parts are entirely polarized.  The SPRC does analyze results as well.  And the District does concern themselves with the relationship between pastor and the church.  But maybe you get the idea that the two help bring fairness to the process.  I like it.

What about you?  Do you like to be evaluated?  Maybe?  Maybe only if you pass?  And what does ‘passing’ mean?  Here is where I suggest we all take a deep breath and give thanks to God.  While it is important to evaluate how we do ministry together, our evaluation is for the purpose of making God as happy as possible.  The good part of the evaluation process is that it has nothing to do with the state of our soul.

Jesus died for you so that your evaluation doesn’t speak to your reward or punishment of your soul either now or later.  Our ministry together is out of thanksgiving for such grace.  I very often feel very free to experiment with ministry ideas, including the thriving or failing of ministry, because God has promised to still love me in any case.  This is partly why I do not sweat during my evaluations.  As much as I appreciate the accountability of the wise SPRC and very cool District office, I do what I do because God has freed me to do so. 

And so I hope as we work together, we do what we do because we are greatly appreciative that God has freed us to do so.  True, I may still feel some pressure to do well in my job, but the state of my soul isn’t on the line.  That is a big reason why, at the end of every MMP, I close it by saying…..

God is Good,

Pastor Joe