Hi Ho Silver.... Go Away!!!!

Hello Church,

I have been invited to provide a 4-part series for the Ohio River Valley District Newsletter regarding my learning during my 12-week Leave.  I thought I would share part 2 with you.  It gives a bit of a foreshadow on how I will tweak my leadership style moving forward......

Rev. Joe Royer, who pastors Emmanuel United Methodist Church in Batavia, recently returned from a 12-week voluntary leave of absence for rest and renewal. He has four "lessons" from his time away that he shares with clergy colleagues to help with maintaining healthy boundaries.

Lesson #2: Minimize "Lone Ranger" decision-making

Have you ever made a decision that you thought was such an obviously good, sound decision that you didn’t consider that you would have to seek backing and support?  Or thought that the decision was so insignificant that no one would even care?  And then you find out later that you were wrong…. That people disagreed with your ‘Lone Ranger’ decision to the extent that it caused unnecessary discord and even major conflict? 

I am not the church.  I am an employee of the church.  I should stop making decisions that the church should be making, no matter how small or insignificant the decision seems. 

Now, for sure, there are times and places for executive decisions to be made by the pastor.  I won’t go into these few examples here as that is often between pastor and SPRC.

But I am not the church.  I am an employee of the church

I preach, teach and encourage good decision-making.  I communicate what it means to practice Christian behavior.  I administer the Sacraments.  I oversee the leadership structure of the church.  I will even review with the church the many possible decisions a church can make and possible consequences of such.  However, I will no longer take on the burden of most decisions that the church may not have any intention of backing.  This created frustration and discouragement in me and others.  It also created division between the pastor and church leadership.  Let the church be the church while you be you.

To be sure, there are issues of egos and power plays involved here.  I can’t control other people’s egos.  I can control mine.  And, yes, there are times when I KNOW what the right decision is… especially when it comes to spiritual and theological expertise.  I have a Masters of Divinity for crying out loud!  However, even when I am right, I am not right.  In other words, the battles that are created by contesting egos who think what they KNOW is right is rarely worth being right.  So…….

I rearranged the size of my ego.  If any decision can be deferred to a team of leaders, it is.  Anyone asking me for ‘permission’ to do such and such is referred to the appropriate ministry team.  If it takes 6 months of meetings to reach a decision, so be it (another decision church’s make is how to make decisions).  The church will be the church.  I will lead the church, but I will not be the church.

Yet another boundary drawn that has helped improve my self-care.  I am more at peace.  How did I do this?  Lesson #3 will dive deeper into the issue.  I hope you join me.

~ Rev. Joe Royer

Who Is That Stranger At Emmanuel?

Hello Church,

We want to set an objective for each of you:  make a new friend at Emmanuel.

We know some of you have many friends at Emmanuel.  We want you to make just one more.  Here is why:

We had a good Leadership Team meeting on Monday.  Our mission continues and most of you are getting it.  Our attention has shifted.  For the rest of the year, we want us to focus on relationships within the church.  We want to create an environment where we can be more tight-nit.  We want more genuine friendships to emerge.  We want love to flow... not just in a biblical because-Jesus-says-so kind of way, but in a I-can't-wait-to-see-my-friend-on-Sunday kind of way.

Here is the tricky part:  it can't be forced.  It should be organic.  Making a friend because church leadership says so isn't authentic.  It becomes just another task.  And tasks are things we are trying to get away from... at least until next year.

So our encouragement to you is to bring out your authentic self at church and be conversational with others.  Be yourself and don't be afraid to get to know each other.  I bet there is at least one person at Emmanuel you don't know.

I tighter-nit church will have advantages when the time comes to get back to being busy.  Yes, we have an agenda.  We have a vision.  I have a plan.  It will be in accordance with the church and the Holy Spirit.  Part of that is, for now, to be still and just know each other... .and know God even better.

God is Good,
Pastor Joe

Please Don't Be Mad At Me... But...

Hello Church,

Do you get it yet?  Emmanuel's Leadership has decided on a 3 month renewal time.  Do less.  Connect more.  Stop being busy.  Start being relational.  I'm going to keep preaching and teaching it.

Why?

We need a fresh start.  We need to erase the board and start with a blank look.  We need empty space, but more than that... we need to have energy to start filling the board again. 

We don't currently have nearly enough energy.  There are individuals here and there that are still chugging along, but as a whole, the church is not motivated to expend energy.  This is clearer to me now than ever before.  For the love of God, we need to gas in our spiritual gas tank.... literally for the love of God.

So I am going to be saying 'no'.  I am going to encourage our Leadership to say 'no'.  Please don't be mad at me.  I am semi-desperate to get this message out.  I am so convinced of this strategy.  We need a buffer between what was and what will be.  God wants us to be still and to know that He is God. 

A time is coming soon when we will have a whole new list of tasks to accomplish.  But it isn't now.  Now is the time to fill ourselves with the love of one another and God.  Now is the time to just be in Christian Fellowship and be friends and learn that we all have the same cause... to be the church.

Do you get it yet? 

If we don't, we will not be ready to move forward together come 2019.  And if we do not move forward, it will be painful to be the church. 

So please don't be mad at me when I say 'no.  I want to get you ready for something new.  God has plans.

God is Good,
Pastor Joe

A Different Pastor

Hello Church,

It's official.  It's October.  My mission begins!  I am encouraging you to renew yourself.  I am meeting with anyone and everyone and preaching it and teaching it.  Ready?

Relax.

Chill out.

Reconnect.

Talk with one another.

Fellowship.

I will be all about this for the next 3 months.  My desire to talk about tasks has gone away.  I want us to sit back and think about how we know one another.  I want us to prayerfully contemplate who we are and how we relate with one another. 

I think some haven't taken be seriously enough yet.  It's okay.  I understand.  As a pastor who has been task/results oriented, I have minimized the significance of fellowship.  That pastor no longer exists. 

So if you come to me because such n such needs to get done, understand that I will seriously consider as to whether or not it is a task that the church NEEDS to get done.  If it can wait 3 months, then it probably will. 

We are a tired church.  We need to rest.  Don't worry.  It's only 3 months.  It goes fast. 

So everything we do, I will try to turn it into a fellowship time with minimal tasks.... everything..... worship, ministry team meetings, special events, study time, etc..... 

We can't move forward if we are too tired to move forward. 

3 months.... October... November... December.... and then January is here.  Get rested.

God is Good,
Pastor Joe

The Crossroads Lobby

Hello Church,

Office hours is an interesting topic for Pastors and churches.  On one hand it is a nice concept to have office hours because the church can know that the pastor is available to meet and talk.  On the other hand the pastor can feel productive in that he/she has made themselves available, willing and waiting to counsel those who are in need.

I have tried having official office hours a half-dozen times in my career.  It ends up the same.  No one comes and sees me (insert sad face).  I then spend several hours a week in the church by myself and feeling quite isolated and sometimes lonely.  That is not good for me.  So I discovered another solution.

Panera.  Kroger.  Starbucks.  Zoup.  Libraries.  .....  the Crossroads lobby.....

All kinds of people go there.  It has wifi.  And though none stop to talk to me, I don't feel isolated.  I feel a part of the community... a part of a working world.  At the same time I am still available to talk to you. 

Generally speaking, I spend 3 days a week at one of the above locations (the Amelia Kroger/Starbucks has been my favorite lately).  I want you to know that I am available to meet.  Just let me know.  You can email me at pastorjoe@emmanuel-umc.com.  Or you can call the church phone (732-1400) and leave a message.  Voicemails go directly to my cell ( a cell that will likely be changing in a couple of weeks.)

I want to talk with you.  I care about your life.  Stop by.  I would be glad to see you.

God is Good,
Pastor Joe

How Are You Today?

Hello Church,

My post-Leave journey is beginning.  I am intent on getting better focused to be you pastor.  Two particular issues at hand:  Reconnection and Communication.

You've heard it said that 'idle hands is the devil's playground'?  Well, in the church, isolation can be just as dangerous.  Not being connected to one another allows negative feelings to inflate.  A lack of support and love and fellowship causes discouragement and frustration to be much more problematic.  I have personally experienced this.  Maybe you have too?

After meeting with leadership, we have decided to declare October, November and December as a time of Renewal.  The focus is going to be on nurturing one another in the Faith and getting to know one another in an environment of encouragement, support and love.

I hope you consider diving in with us.  A church that is knitted together with Christ's love is a church better equipped to move forward for the betterment of His Kingdom.

God is Good....
Pastor Joe

A Brand New Start

Hello Emmanuel,

Well it has been a long, long time since I last posted a blog.  Much has happened since and the reason for the delay will be the subject of the blog over the next couple of posts.  I have had many challenges as has the church.  This blog will be a trampoline into the coming weeks as I share with you many issues around being a Christian, being a Church and where God is in the midst of it all.

Some upcoming issues:

Frustration, Discouragement and Failure
Encouragement, Peacefulness and Success
Being spiritually exhausted and being spiritually renewed
Healthy boundaries.... and unhealthy...
Preparing yourself for change (hopefully for the better)
Being connected to each other

I want you to know that I am not going to be the exact same Pastor Joe moving forward as I will discuss in the above topics.  I will be mostly the same, but the tweaks I am making in my lifestyle will have some impact on the church and, I believe, in a healthy way.... both for you and for me.  God wants us to experience the joy of being His people.  It is going to be my intent to help us do just that.

I want you to be a part of this journey.  Emmanuel means much to me and I want you to walk along side of me as I know God does each day. 

God is Still Good,
Pastor Joe