For Married Or Single

Hello Emmanuel,

Strong marriages make strong families.  Strong families make strong churches.  Strong churches make the pastor look good.  I am a pastor.  Therefore, I am all for strong marriages.

Okay, so the logic is a bit self-centered.  The truth is that while marriage can be hard, God wants marriages to be healthy.  God wants clear and honest communication.  God wants trust and forgiveness and respect.  If you can’t have that in a marriage, where can you have it?

Another truth:  with a 50% divorce rate in this country and much dysfunction in existing marriages (and, yes, even in the church), there isn’t enough of what God wants.

Another new idea is on the horizon for Emmanuel, specifically in regards to romance (insert ‘awwwwww’ here).  Shawn Young and I have been talking about finding ways to provide opportunities for couples to strengthen their relationship.  For a few years I have been wrestling with the idea of having a couples group, but with all the Small Groups we have going on right now, I’ve had a hard time finding time.  Perhaps the time is now.

It isn’t exactly a Small Group as much as it is a couple’s devotion time.  Shawn is still working out the details, but this new program will be for couples to focus on themselves as a couple.  It is going to run from Sweetest Day to Valentine’s Day with a weekly exercise of some sort that will allow the couple to explore their relationship in some way.

Again, details are still in the works, but throughout this 16 week program there will be a few times when couples meet with other couples in a Small Group, retreat-like setting.  The idea will be to fellowship, but also to learn from each other the ups and downs of being in love (insert another ‘awwwwwww’ here).

I will be preaching on this topic on October 5^th (‘Horse And Carriage, part 1) as well as on October 19^th (Horse And Carriage, Part 2).  Sign-ups will begin on October 5^th for couples who are interested in this new idea.  If you aren’t sure about this, I encourage you to worship with us and listen to this new idea.

Kim and I will be participating and I’m sure I will like it…… or else…

Just kidding… I love her dearly….

…..  or else….

On another note, for those of you who find yourselves in singleness, I’m not leaving you out.  October 26^th is slated to be about the single life and the truths and myths surrounding such.  There are certainly perks (There is almost never an ‘else’ in the equation) to being single as well as struggles. 

God is Good,

Pastor Joe

Around the Circle in 7 Days

Hello Emmanuel,

Around the circle in 7 days.  Can you handle it?  For those who are new to the church (or absolutely refuse to pay attention to my insistent ramblings), Emmanuel has a plan.  The plan is to make disciples of Jesus Christ.  However, it’s more specific than that.  There are parts of the church that simply have to be.  And if there is any week to observe how the Discipleship Pathway works, it is this week.

Tonight we practice Compassionate Care as we grieve with and comfort the family of Mike Wright.  Mike fought a long and hard battle with cancer.  He is now with the Lord.  We will be with the family. 

Tomorrow we practice Risk-Taking Missions.  The Clermont County Opiate Task Force will be holding a community event in the sanctuary to discuss and educate the issues regarding the increase drug problem, specifically heroin.  The public is invited to attend, starting at 7:00.

Wednesday is singing.  More than that, it is singing to prepare for Passionate Worship.  The choir and praise teams get ready week after week to lead you on Sundays.

Thursday we see one of the Faith-Forming Relationships groups.  Bible Study is at 7:00, though many other groups meet throughout the week.

Saturday is Risk-Taking Outreach.  There is the Cruise-In and Community Grill-Out starting at 10:00.  It is a time where we simply encourage fellowship with the community and invite them to come and have a little bit of fun.  We want them to know we are here and care about their involvement.

And throughout the week is Radical Hospitality.  I already got to sample cookies in the kitchen for Tuesday night (it’s a perk that comes with the job).  Welcoming people should happen every time someone walks through the doors.  If you get a chance, check out the church calendar on the website.  Fall is here and it has become a much busier place.

Around the circle in 7 days!  Can you handle it?  No you can’t.  It is too much for just one person to deal with.  However, with a church full of the Faithful and a little intentional planning, God will certainly take advantage of it.

For those who help with the circle, I pray you see and understand the rewards when they are right in front of you.  Recognize when discipleship is happening and be glad.  The Holy Spirit is hard at work.

God is Good,

Pastor Joe

Do You Know That Person?

Hello Emmanuel,

WARNING:  THERE IS STATISTICAL ANALYSIS IN THIS EDITION OF THE MMP.  NUMBERS MIGHT NOT LIE, BUT THEY DO NOT ALWAYS TELL THE WHOLE STORY.  READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.

Have you ever sat with someone in worship whom you do not know?  Eat at a carry-in with a stranger?  Ever wonder who that person is at the coffee bar? 

How do you help people connect to the church?

Technically, Emmanuel is still a small church.  True, it is not as small as it used to be.  However, a church is not generally considered medium-sized until it gets to at least 250/week in worship attendance.  Emmanuel is at 180.

However, there are differences in the make-up of small churches when comparing 50/week to 180/week, especially when there are 2 worship services compared to 1.  In my opinion, Emmanuel is experiencing the pains of growth and the challenge of stagnation.  Here is one of the reasons why I think so (yes, the paragraph that follows is statistical analysis which doesn’t tell the whole story.  Bear with me on this.  I do have a point eventually).

I see that new people are finding it more and more difficult to connect to Emmanuel.  I know this by one-on-one conversations with new people and by the evidence of the numbers.  The numbers show we are inviting more people than ever to our events and to worship.  Event attendance continues to go up and first-time visitors to worship are as high as ever.  However, worship attendance is at a standstill over the past year.

So if outreach events, invitations and first time visitors are going up and average worship attendance is not, what can we conclude?  One possibility is that people are leaving the church while new people come to the church (otherwise known as the ‘revolving door’ syndrome.  I don’t see that happening at Emmanuel).  In my humble opinion, I conclude that newer people are having a harder time connecting to the church.  In general, a church has about a 6-month window to get a new person who shows strong interest connected to the church.  If that doesn’t happen, it is likely that the person will leave and not come back.

So how do you help people connect to the church?

The Pathway (fancy word for ‘circle chart’) has some built-in processes in place.   People are invited to move through membership class and then join a Small Group of some sort.  This continues to be somewhat effective as Small Groups continue to grow, but not at the pace of potential growth.  The truth is that some simply don’t want to find a connection in this manner….. at least not at first.

Some people just want to establish relationships in a more informal manner.  Some want to just be spoken to on Sunday morning; look forward to saying ‘hi’ at the coffee bar; have someone to sit with at worship; or at least don’t feel like they are invisible to everyone around them. 

How do you help people connect to church?

As you go about being the disciple that gets to know your fellow Christians, imagine making the attempt to connect with someone outside of Sunday morning.  Take someone to lunch or talk to them on the phone.  Send friendly emails or offer a ride on Sunday mornings.  These things can elevate a person’s connection to the church and help them in their walk with Christ, especially if they don’t feel alone in that walk.

I invite you to consider how you can help people feel connected to Emmanuel.  Sermons can only go so far.  Good music can only go so far.  Informative classes can only go so far.  At the heart of the Good News is authentic relationships.  The human being wants to have friends.  And true friendship is one of the best glimpses of God’s Kingdom.

God is Good,

Pastor Joe

Robes and Drums

Hello Emmanuel,

Rev. Jay Madigan from Williamsburg UMC shared an article (http://thomrainer.com/2014/08/30/six-reasons-churches-moving-back-one-worship-style/) I want to expand on for this MMP.  It is about worship styles and how we are perhaps seeing a shift in trends.

As I moved through seminary and into my first and second appointments (1994-2009), there was a trend of multiple styles.  Churches would try and find ways to appease the traditionalists as well as the modern worshippers of the community.  Two different worship services would be developed.  One would have liturgies and hymns and robes.  The other would have drums and khakis and coffee.  The purpose, I suppose, was to show that any style was ok as long as worship was designed to point people to God in whatever style the person related to the best.

Emmanuel’s experience is rather similar.  Over the past several years there has been attempts made to show both the traditional side of worship and the modern side, sometimes within the same service and sometimes in separate services.  Sometimes it worked well and sometimes it didn’t.  As a pastor, I have often struggled with this tension between traditional and modern, probably because I don’t know which one I prefer (I grew up traditional but my personality leans toward more modern).

You know what I’ve learned in 5 years at Emmanuel?  Worship style doesn’t matter near as much as many pastors and church leaders thought it did.  What matters more is authentic worship.  Sure, there will be those who prefer one style of music over another…. Or one style of preaching over another.  And there are those who see more meaning in the traditional liturgies than others.  However, Emmanuel has taught me that if a church loves people and lives what it says it believes, people will usually overlook the nuances of what they don’t prefer and embrace what they do prefer in terms of worship style.

Pastor Jay and I had a discussion once about this very topic.  What if we get back to a day when there isn’t ‘traditional’ or ‘modern’ or ‘contemporary’, but just ‘worship’?  I personally believe Emmanuel is close to that day.  We have been weaving two different music groups in and out of worship, each with its own style.  And there are days when liturgy is read or recited (mainly during the sacraments).  I realize that there are those who prefer one style over another, but I don’t see it impacting ministry in any negative way.  We all still proclaim that ‘God is good’ (which, by the way, is a modern form of liturgy) and by the end of the service we hopefully leave with a pertinent message and by the end of the week the hungry get fed and the sick get visited and Small Groups meet and discipleship happens.

What I hope I see happening is a focus on God who is at the center of worship and less energy around how we focus on God.  While no church can be everything to everybody, I actually think that is the point.  So why try?  Let’s be the people God made us to be and share the gifts God gave us to share and let the style fall where it may.  And if it is heart-felt and authentic, people will come, souls will be inspired and disciples will be made.

God is Good,

Pastor Joe

Shopping With Jesus

Hello Emmanuel,

So…. Because I know that all of you can hardly start your week without reading the MMP, I’m sure you are worried because you haven’t received it yet.  So here it is and this is why I’m late sending it out:

I had to go shopping

It isn’t my favorite thing to do.  Indeed, it is last on my list… like.. dead last.  As in, it wouldn’t be on my list at all if I could help it.  I am put into a high degree of emotional stress when having to shop (this as opposed to ‘hunting’, which is much different than ‘shopping’).  However, it was on my list because we had a great turnout at the Back To School Bash.  380 kids received school supplies.  Needless to say, we ran out of supplies.  So I went shopping in the name of Jesus…. Which is almost the only way you could get me to go shopping.

So I apologize for the lateness of the MMP.  Please understand I would’ve much rather typed this earlier today with my iced tea sitting next to me.  But let us not forget the joy of reaching out.  380 kids is more than doubled from last year.  We learned some more lessons this year (like don’t put yourself in the position to send your pastor out shopping).

Sarcasm aside, it was a GREAT day!!  The people were very patient and appreciative.  The process of the event went much better than last year.  The helpers were fantastic too!!! And to all of the individuals and ministry teams that helped this happen, kudos to you.  It is good to be the church. 

I was going to talk about all the good stuff coming this Fall, but I think I’ll encourage us to sit back and smile for a second.  A lot of energy and thought was put into this event and we should take time to thank God who has put us in a position to be a presence in the community in real, practical ways. 

God is Good,

Pastor Joe

Moodiness

Hello Emmanuel,

I woke up this morning in a bad mood and annoyed at Kim.  It isn’t her fault.  She can’t help what I dream about.  However, I feel ok with it.  She has been known to be downright angry with me because of what I did in her dreams.  So if this MMP seems overly sarcastic, I apologize in advance.  Authenticity is my main core value, after all.

My grouchy mood is somewhat justified.  One of our cars got towed yesterday for the 3^rd time in 6 weeks for 3 separate issues.  I have a great track record of something going wrong while I’m out of town.  I know this because Kim reminds me quite frequently…. Which is related to what I dreamed about last night which is why I woke up in a bad mood which is why I may seem overly sarcastic…. .thus my advanced apologies.

So I’m using this MMP to switch my mood.  I’m sitting at Panera, getting ramped up on iced tea and getting my mind set on good news: 

-          I had a great birthday weekend (I got permission to skip church, ate blueberry donuts and  my favorite meal; and I got tons of good wishes from many friends, parishioners and family);

-          My Panera card has earned me a free pastry… good until the end of the month

-          My fantasy baseball team has made a dramatic turnaround (7 wins in the last 8 games).  It’s also a good thing I don’t have to pay my players.  Several are up for contract renewals.

-          School starts in 10 days which gives me 2 more reasons (Hope and Joey) to rejoice between 8:30 and 2:00 every day (excluding weekends, holidays, snow days and teacher in-service days);

-          I hear Shawn did a great job editing/producing the video that was shown at church yesterday.  I can’t wait to see it.  I’m guessing it will be posted on facebook sometime today or tomorrow?  Or perhaps on our website (www.emmanuel-umc.com).  Shawn is awesome, but don’t tell him I said so (by the way, the church should get their own camera so he can do more stuff like that… just sayin’).

-          Jesus loves me regardless of any good or bad news/moods I could share with you;

-          And in other news that is related to the last point, next Sunday is filled with non-stop action:

The Back To School Bash is becoming a huge event at Emmanuel.  This is our 3^rd year and it has grown each time which has necessitated changes in how we do the event.  Our need for school supplies is urgent again.  We have one last week to at least double our supplies.  So please bring them in.  We are looking at helping well over 100 kids and could feasibly reach 200 kids this year.

We will also be promoting several children to their new Sunday School classes and blessing the teachers that spend their time with the children.  It will be a time for the teachers to let some of the students go and welcome new students into their care.  It will also be a time to feel glad for what goes on upstairs during the 10:30 service. 

Now that my mood has officially shifted, I’m going to get my free pastry, more tea and do more work starting with several emails that encourage and plan for future ministry.  My 43^rd year is going to be GREAT!  Why?  Because 43 is a prime number and prime numbers = prime time.  Everyone knows that.

Oh… and….

God is Good,

Pastor Joe

I'm Getting Coached!

Hello Emmanuel,

I’m getting a coach!  Yes, that’s right, the United Methodist Church offers coaching to pastors.  I’ve been coached before and it was a great experience.  It is the chance to spend one-on-one time with another pastor who has more experience than I do.  His name is Chris Holmes.  Your Lay Leader, Muriel Cunningham, and I will be spending the next year in conversation with him.  Here is more about Chris:

                                                            

The International Coaching Federation (ICF) credentialed Chris Holmes as a Associate Coach in 2008, and the United Methodist Church endorsed Chris for the ministry of coaching in 2009. He is a pastor with 26 years of experience serving small to large churches and has seven years serving as District Superintendent in the Baltimore-Washington Conference of the United Methodist Church.

Chris has played a pivotal role in developing the coaching ministry in the Baltimore-Washington Conference. "As a leadership coach, I come beside denominational leaders and pastors to help them get sharply focused and committed to what they need to do in ministry and then lead boldly with courage."

Chris co-authored the Coach Approach Skills Training (CAST) manuals used by the General Board of Discipleship in the training of Bishops, District Superintendents, and Directors of Connection Ministries in the basic coaching skills. Chris has written numerous articles on coaching and serves as an adviser to several United Methodist Conferences in utilizing the basic skills of coaching in ministry at all levels of the church. He is the President-elect for the newly formed Maryland Chapter of the International Coaching Federation and a founding member of the Methodist Coaching Connection. Chris has begun working with Auburn's coaching program in 2012  (http://www.zoominfo.com/p/Chris-Holmes/8585320).

Some might wonder why I should get coached.  For those who are familiar with coaching, it is seen as often used with pastors who are in the midst of church conflict or immediately after the conflict.  This is not entirely true.  Coaching allows for pastors to take that extra step in becoming a more effective leader when the pastor isn’t sure how to go about taking that extra step. 

I’m at a place in my ministry where I’m not sure what more I could be or should be doing.  As well as Emmanuel is doing, I often feel like Emmanuel is primed for something more and I want to discern what that ‘more’ looks like.  Having a coach might help that become clearer.

So over the course of the next 12 months, Muriel and I will be meeting with Chris.  Chris will dive into our context at Emmanuel and learn about me and my strengths and weaknesses as well as learn about Emmanuel.  It will be a chance for us to get insight from a different perspective.  I’m looking forward to learning.

Finally, to be clear, a coach doesn’t pastor anyone.  He is also not my ‘boss’.  He is an advisor only.  You likely will never see Chris.  He will push me, support me, hold me accountable, pray for me and with me, but will never demand I do anything that I choose not to do.  Nor is his job to step in in my place to do my work.  His job is simply to be a coach.  I’m looking forward to learning.

If you have any other questions about this process, shoot me an email (pastorjoe@emmaneul-umc.com).  I’m sure this will make for interesting subjects for the MMP in future editions.  I’ll keep you informed.  It should be quite fun.

God is Good,

Pastor Joe