Looking Back and Forward

Hello Emmanuel,

Yes, you are supposed to be getting Shawn’s newsletter today.  Unfortunately, he is off playing at church camp this week.  So you get me yet again.  I thought I’d take a step back and reminisce for this MMP.  Let’s take a look at how God has walked with us.

As I start my 6^th year at Emmanuel (yes, I said SIXTH year), I am still amazed at how blessed I am to be a part of a very unique church.  Emmanuel comes with its unique blessings and also unique challenges and, over the years, some have changed quite drastically. 

First and foremost is the challenge and blessing of so many new faces and how quickly the make-up of those who sit in the pews have changed.  Every year Emmanuel has welcomed at least 20-25 new people.  With this blessing has come the challenge to help them become a part of the church.  The challenge of any church to assimilate new people is a daunting one and, inevitably, churches get to the point where they can’t keep up with all the newness.  The result is that not everyone can be assimilated and some will drift away.  This is no different at Emmanuel.  And the bigger a church gets, the more difficult it can be to welcome new people…. Unless there are structural changes.

Remember when we didn’t have a hospitality team?  Remember when we had only 1 worship service?  Remember when we didn’t have 4 Sunday School classes for children?  Or 3?  Or 2?  Have you already taken for granted that the church would be clean for Sunday morning?  Remember when we had no website?  No wifi?  Struggled with getting nursery volunteers?  Had only 1 Faith-Forming Relationships Team?  Had a ministry budget of 2/3 of what we have now?   1/3?  …. I could go on….

Emmanuel has met so many of the challenges that the blessings have brought.  Some we continue to struggle with:  finding a way to do a church directory that doesn’t become outdated in 6 months; finding storage space for so many ministry teams; finding parking spaces for those special Sundays and events; learning how to kick the copier without hurting your foot.

Overall, the big picture is looking grand.  We have a healthy process for ‘making disciples of Jesus Christ’.  Therefore, I have tried to switch gears from being the pastor that leads a church into a healthy process to being a pastor that pushes the church to think beyond its limits.  I don’t think I’ve done quite a good enough job yet in this area.  Emmanuel is at a place where it is in danger of becoming comfortable with how well things are working in general.  At some point, we must consider that God is never comfortable with the status quo.

Some things to think about as I start my 6^th (yes, I said SIXTH) year:  how fast do we (should we) want to get rid of our building debt (our debt is down to 425K);  what is our limit to the amount of missions we can do for the local community; how do we make more of an impact in mission work beyond the local community; do we need more Sunday School classes for kids; what does it mean to grow as a church with or without expanding our current space; how can I help manage a Small Group ministry that continues to grow; does my approach to sermon prep need to change (after 5 years, you’ve heard most of my stories at least twice). 

This is a good synopsis of where my head, heart and spirit is residing.  I look forward to the next 5 years with you.  They will be different than the first 5.  It will likely be more challenging.  Why?  From a spiritual point of view, we’ve already ticked off the devil.  We have his attention.  He’s going to work harder to discourage us.  But God is good and He will continue to walk with us.  So have no fear.

God is Good,

Pastor Joe

I Got Recalled

Hello Emmanuel,

My car is being recalled this year… twice.  It’s inconvenient.  Doesn’t GM know my weekly schedule?  Don’t they know I don’t have time to get my car fixed… like… ever?  And yet I’m being told to take my car in to get worked on, as if I should just drop everything that’s clearly not nearly as important.

But there is something wrong with my car.  There are 2 things wrong with my car and GM is willing to fix it at no cost to me (other than time).  This is awfully nice of them, which leads me to this week’s MMP message:

What if God recalled you to fix your flaws?  Would you take the time?

I am not always aware of my flaws though I do take pride in my self-awareness (pride is one of my flaws).  I like being my own worst critic because I can handle my own criticism of myself better than criticism from other people.  So I go about the task of figuring out my flaws.

But what if God wanted to fix your flaws?  Would you take the time?

The painful part is trying to let God help me fix stuff.  I’ve had to learn patience which is incredibly painful.  I’ve needed to learn when to be more assertive, how to apologize better, how to speak more articulately, and the list is much longer but I’m going to refrain from ruining your image of me (again… that pride thing).

Most of the major learnings I’ve needed to make wouldn’t have happened if God wouldn’t have recalled me.  The way I see that God recalls me is to teach me when I’m not aware of my flaws, mainly through those who are close to me that I trust.  My most valuable lessons have come through my mentors who lovingly show me my flaws and challenge me to make myself better. 

Then I have to decide if I want to take the time.  When I do, I am better for it.  When I don’t, I do everyone a disservice, including myself.  Would you take the time to fix your flaws?

Too often I hear people say something to the effect of, ‘I’m too old to change now’ or ‘I’m too set in my ways’.  Even younger people make excuses as to why they can’t work on themselves (much of the time, it’s blaming others about their flaws).  I have words for this, but I can’t type them here.

God wants you to improve yourself.  Yes, you’ll always be a sinner and hopefully a forgiven sinner, but God wants you to be a better person tomorrow than yesterday.  Listen to what your trusted friends say about you.  Take it to heart.  Don’t be offended for too long and take on the task of improving.  You will be blessed.  I say this from personal experience.

God is Good,

Pastor Joe

From A Church Member's Heart

Hello Emmanuel,

Last week I shared the 9 heartfelt things that pastors would like to say to church members.  This week I’m sharing another blog by Thom Rainer:  9 heartfelt things that church members would like to say to their pastor.  This was gathered by Thom, collecting them through many social media sites, emails and personal conversation.   Thom’s writing is in regular type.  I will comment accordingly in italics.

The following nine statements are heart matters for many church members. For the most part, these members are not the perpetual critics and the business meeting naysayers. These are men and women who truly love their pastors. But many of them do have some words from the heart they would like to share with their pastors. But many are reticent to do so, because they know their pastors often receive criticisms and inordinate demands for attention.

So, hear these heartfelt words from church members who love their pastors, from men and women who truly desire the best for them.

1.    “Let me know you really care for me.” That does not mean you call me regularly or that you visit me on demand. It is more of a disposition, or maybe words from the pulpit that demonstrate your love for the members. We can tell if you really care for us and love us.

I hope you know that I really care about you and Emmanuel.  If I don’t show it enough, let me know.  There are times that I may not show it enough.

2.    “Teach me the Bible.” I know you are inundated with requests, and the expectations for your time are often unreasonable. But please do not let those people distract you from your time in the Word. I am hungry for biblical teaching and preaching. Please spend time studying the Word so you can teach us well.

One of my favorite parts of my job is to teach Scripture.  Bible Study is held September through May.  Aside from sermons, Bible Study is a place for good dialogue and learning.

3.    “Help me deal with change.” This world and culture are changing so fast that I find myself dealing with fear and uncertainly. Help me understand the steadfastness of God in a turbulent world. And understand that my fear of change in the church is often related to my fear of change in the world. So lead me gently as you lead change in the church.

I realize that I have been an agent of change, especially in my first 3 years at Emmanuel.  I don’t like change just for the sake of change.  I hope that anytime I have encouraged change, I have shown the reasons for it and led you gently enough.

4.    “Don’t lead too far ahead.” I do want you to lead us. But don’t get so far ahead of us that we mistake you for the enemy and shoot you in the rear. I know change is necessary, but learn the pace of change that is best for our church.

Well I haven’t been shot yet… haha… I feel that our change of pace has been a healthy pace.  But I do wonder if I, at times, underestimate your willingness to change at a faster pace….. not that I would necessarily want to.  Change is scary for me too.

5.    “Help me deal with family issues.” Some of us are in struggling marriages. Some of us are lonely whether we are single or married. Some of us have problems with our children. Some of us are dealing with aging parents. We hurt deeply when we have hurts about our families. Show us biblical truths about these issues. And show us your pastoral heart and concern for these issues.

This is one of my areas of passion.  I want to help you with family issues.  It isn’t that I can always help, but I’m always willing to talk.  Healthy churches are made up of healthy families.  Healthy families are families that are able to cope and/or heal around dysfunctions which all families have to some degree.  Please feel free to talk with me.  Don’t worry.  After almost 20 years of ministry, I’ve seen and heard a lot of family stuff.

6.    “Be transparent.” We know you are imperfect, but the critics sometimes cause you to hide your faults. For sure, we don’t want every nitty gritty personal detail about you and your family. But we do want to know that you have some of the same struggles we do. It helps us to identify with you better. It helps us to pray for you more.

You won’t get every nitty gritty personal detail, but I’ve never been afraid of sharing my faults.  It’s connected with my core value of being authentic.  Some of the more ‘professional’ clergy in the world might suggest I’m too forthcoming about my own human flaws.  Oh well.  Good thing God is full of grace.

7.    “Don’t get defensive when I offer constructive criticism.” I know that this one is tough. You get so many criticisms already; many of them are petty and self-serving. But there are many of us who love you and will, on rare occasions, offer some words that we think are best for you. Hear us without being defensive. Pray that God’s Spirit will help you discern when you should listen and when you should ignore.

This is a tough one for me.  I have learned over the years that I need to listen to some kinds of criticism.  I make great effort not to get defensive.  I hope I do well enough to continue learning how to be a good pastor.

8.    “Pray for me.” Please let me know that you love your church members so much that you pray for us regularly. Let us know that you consider prayer for the members to be one of your highest priorities.

I read your prayer concerns and joys every week.  I very much appreciate our prayer ministry.  It is part of what binds us together.  If you want me to pray for you, let it be known on the prayer slip on Sundays.  Or you can email, text, call or send smoke signals.  I will pray for you.

9.    “Give me hope.” This world confuses me. This degenerating culture scares me. Show me how God has dealt with such hopeless times in the past that they may be times of hope for me today. Show me Christ’s possibilities, His hope, and His encouragement in difficult days.

Giving hope is what drives me to be your pastor.  I hope my preaching and teaching and praying encourages you at least part of the time.  Jesus is alive.  That is what gives me hope.  I won’t let you forget that Jesus is alive.  It is what should give you hope too.

God is Good,

Pastor Joe

p.s.  I neglected to talk about the evening of Friday, June 27^th.  It is a day we are all invited to go out to Don and Gayle Burroughs to have a time of camping out.  Fathers and sons and anyone else can bring their tents as well and spend the night.  It’s one of those ‘change of pace’ moments that can help us see God among us, the church.  More details will be offered on Sunday and through the newsletter emailed out on Friday.

From A Pastor's Heart

Hello Emmanuel,

The following is a blog written by Thom Rainer that I read at Annual Conference today.  I’m sharing it with you because of how much truth there is in what goes on in the hearts of pastors.  Some of these I relate with stronger than others.  Thom’s writing is in regular type.  I will comment accordingly in italics.

Most pastors love church members dearly. They truly care for those they serve.  But pastors are human.  And there are times they would like church members to know some things about them. In my conversations with pastors via social media, in person, by phone, and by email, here are the nine most common themes

·  “When you criticize a family member, you hurt me deeply.” Please understand that neither my spouse nor my children are employed by the church. Do your best to treat them as regular church members, and do not place unreasonable expectations on them.

It is difficult to be in a position to defend a family member at the expense of the church.  I thank Emmanuel for loving my family with grace.  Sometimes I take it for granted that the church has not put me in such a position.

·  “I will have bad days, and it will show at times.” A pastor is supposed to be “on” all the time. But it is difficult. I know there are times I speak out of turn. I know there are times when I’m too tired to listen well. I will try not to show my bad days, but I will slip at times.

I certainly have bad days, but not too many of them.  It will usually come out by me seeming to be short in my conversation.  As Kim will attest, when I’m grumpy, I don’t like to talk.

·  “Not all of my sermons will be ‘home runs.’” I wish they were. But with the number of different messages I have to prepare and preach in a year, I won’t always be the stellar preacher you want me to be. Indeed, I won’t always be the stellar preacher I want to be.

I’ve always been my worst critic.  I also know my style turns some people off.  I can be too blunt at times and sometimes people don’t know if I’m joking or serious.  Sometimes people laugh with me, sometimes at me, sometimes not at all.  My hope is that in the midst of my idiosyncrasies, you might find a sermon here and there that hits home with you.  When you do, let me know.  I won’t get a big head.  It will give me confidence in an area that I don’t always have confidence in.

·  “I am sensitive about my salary.” There are few people who work in a place where everyone in the organization is the boss. That is the nature of church work. But when you make disparaging comments about my pay and my related work, it cuts me to the core.

I actually don’t relate much with this.  Once the Staff-Parish Relations Team and I settle on a salary, I’m good to go (I see the SPRC as my boss).  I haven’t experienced any ‘disparaging comments’.  But if I ever do, unless you are in leadership, I won’t let it bother me much. 

·  “I struggle when the church numbers are down.” I know I shouldn’t. I know I shouldn’t derive my worth based on attendance and offerings. But when attendance declines or offerings drop, I question my own leadership at the church.

This is one of the truest statements for me.  I believe the reality is that when I provide quality leadership to a quality church, people will come and get involved.  When numbers drop, I can’t help but to question the quality of my leadership.  I try to overcome this by staying focused on the big picture…. Annual numbers and trends over a period of years… not numbers on any given Sunday.  So far, so good.

·  “I would love a true friend in the church.” I’m talking about someone who would let me be myself, someone who wouldn’t mind if I let my hair down. It seems like everyone wants me to put on my pastor face all the time.

I am fortunate that I have a few people at Emmanuel who encourage me do this.  Letting my hair down is difficult (in more ways than one) because it takes a tremendous amount of trust, but it helps remind me that I’m human like everyone else. 

·  “Please don’t criticize me or ask me to do something right before I preach.” I put many hours into sermon preparation. I have prayed with intensity about the message. Please don’t tell me the worship center is too cold right before I preach.

Honestly?  This REALLY grates at me.  I’m trying to get into the zone, get focused, to energize a congregation of people.  To throw a comment at me about something entirely different (and sometimes insignificant) is like pushing a basketball player right before he is going to shoot.  It isn’t helpful.  Talk to me later.  I’ll be glad to listen to whatever it is.  (unless my zipper is down… in that case, please let me know… thanks).

·  “I cannot show up at every place all of you would like me to be.” I jokingly told a pastor friend that I wish I could be omnipresent, and he laughed and agreed. I love you church members, but it is physically impossible to be all the places you expect me to be.

True, true and true again.  But, again, Emmanuel has been very good with me on this.  If I can’t be somewhere, I will let you know why. 

·  “I hurt deeply when good people don’t defend me.” Every leader will have his or her critics; and that is certainly the case with pastors. I don’t expect to be immune from criticisms. But what hurts me the most is the silence of “good” members when I am attacked unfairly. Please say a kind word about me in response to the negativity you hear. Don’t let the few critics dominate the conversation.

I’d like to think I’m strong enough to take on unfair criticism.  Not always.  It’s good to know I have people who have my back.  There will always be those who say things when they don’t know the whole story.  But to have good people who may not want to get involved can leave pastors thinking it’s them against the world. 

Next week is another blog by Thom about the 9 heartfelt things people want their pastor to know.  I’ll write on that next week.  It’s only fair.  J

God is Good,

Pastor Joe

An Excited Pastor Has Been Sighted

Hello Emmanuel,

Pentecost is coming.  Time to wear red.  Time to rediscover what Pentecost is and why the Pastor is so excited.

My excitement is multi-fold.  First, I haven’t looked forward to summer like I have this year.  I’m not sure why except that I perhaps haven’t lamented a winter like I have this past one.  For some reason, the cold just got to me more than usual.  Does that mean I’m getting old?  In any case, Pentecost means warm weather is here. 

Secondly, baptisms are going to happen Sunday.  In fact, it will be a 3 generational baptism.  I don’t think I’ve ever done 3 generations at once.  Celebrating God’s grace in such a way is going to be fantastic.  Son, Mom and Grandma are going to celebrate God’s grace in the water.  I might need to have extra water on hand.

Thirdly—and I feel like I say this so often—the new faces at Emmanuel bring so many possibilities for new disciples of Jesus and new servers to the many ministries we implement.  I’m wondering how many we’ll have at the Roots Class on Saturday at 9:00.  Let the Discipleship Pathway be discussed!!!  Woohoo!!

Fourthly, a new sermon series starts.  Discussing the work of the Holy Spirit always seems to be attention-getting.  People want to know how God speaks to them right now.  I’m looking forward to a change of gears and moving from having hope in the resurrection to having fulfillment in living today.  I hope you come and hear about a Wild Goose Chase. 

So how could I not be excited right now?  I hope you are excited too!  Sometimes I feel like I’m just riding a wave of grace through 2014.  I hope your summer will be a time you see God working among you.  Take time to soak it in and celebrate it.

God is Good,

Pastor Joe

Oh… and on a side note, we are tweaking our bulletin and making it a newsletter.  Our intent is to be more informative to more people about what Emmanuel is doing and how to get involved.  We want as many servants as possible.  So pay attention to how the bulletin… I mean, newsletter… changes over the next several weeks.