God Beat Me With A Turtle

Hello,

I want to expand on a moment of epiphany I had this Summer.  It was a moment I will likely remember for the rest of my life.  It happened while I biked through the Cuyahoga National Park.

My conversations with God were fierce on my 8-day bicycle trip from Cincinnati to Cleveland and back.  Too many things were going wrong and a lot of it wasn't my fault.  I was angry about it and had been for a very long time.  So we argued.  I don't often win, but I do have a history of lengthening the conversation beyond its necessity.  It probably amuses Him.  I'm okay with that. 

It took an entire day to bike through the National Park.  It was a dirt path, not conducive to my type of bike.  As I persevered--grumpily going much slower than I preferred while arguing with an omnipotent God--I continued to argue about all that had gone on around me for many months and how it was all wrong.

Then I saw a turtle.

It was slowly making its way across the path.  It didn't seem to care that it was in my way nor that I was approaching.  It didn't even look at me.  It just lumbered along... as if I didn't exist... as if it was only focused on one thing... to get across the path.  It didn't look anxious or fearful or worried.  The world around it would go on as it would without phasing this turtle.  I could rain or snow or blow... or a bicycle could come zooming by.  I don't think it cared.  How wonderful!!

What would happen if I could focus in such a way--to dismiss any and all matters that I have no control over and simply focus on the one thing that was in front of me.  Life would be simpler!  I would have less stress!  And I would be much more likely to complete my task!

Let the world be the world.  I am going to be me.  Let people be mean or nice or indifferent.  I am going to be me.  Let others do what they will do, holy or unholy.  I will be me and try to be holy.  Let others meet God with me or not.  I will meet God, alone or not.  Let other hear or ignore their Call.  I will follow mine.

It was a surreal moment.  God ended the argument much as he did with Jonah.  The turtle might have well told me the words:  'Do you do well to be angry?'.  The turtle meandered across the trail as if it knew the story.  I grumpily trudged down the trail as if I forgot the story.

God beat me with a turtle.

God is Good,
Pastor Joe

I Am Ineffective

Hello Church...

Nervous yet?  I am. 

I hear people thinking about where we are going with all this 'low-task/fellowship' stuff.  What do you mean about being 'still' and 'quiet' during Advent and Christmas?  Has leadership lost their minds?  No.  There is a plan.  Here is some insight......

Contrary to popular opinion, stagnation and status quo is not a requirement for the Church.  Unfortunately, many United Methodist Churches never got the memo.  The comfort of doing the same things in the same way is far too much of a temptation even when faced with a lack of results and failure to follow the commandments of Christ..... like... you know... 'making disciples'.

I learned many years ago that reinventing myself as a pastor would eventually be needed.  That, after a time, a pastor's rhetoric, habits, biases, stories, etc; would become tiresome and ineffective.  People would begin yawning at my dry sarcasm and become annoyed with my psychological ploys.  My humor would be rewarded with the sound of crickets.  My words of encouragement and inspiration would create numbness.  I was told that I, too, would fall prey to the temptation of doing the same things the same way.

Historically, I have never had to reinvent my role.  My first 2 appointments were 6.5 years and 6.5 years.  I asked for a move after my 1st and the Conference asked me to come to Emmanuel after the 2nd.  I was not at either appointment long enough to become what I considered 'ineffective'. 

But this appointment is different.  9 years have brought me and us to a place to work on our ineffectiveness.  So how do we do this?

First, we become honest with ourselves and God and admit our ineffectiveness.  This is also referred to as 'confession'.  I'm done rehashing the reasons for this, but the honest truth is that we are not growing and, in fact, are declining.

Second, we turn to God and not to each other.  We implore God to forgive and renew us; give us insight and wisdom; bring a new energy to us; give us Vision; a dream; something to strive for.  This means to 'be still and know God'.  It means to squelch your busy body, turn on your ears and pray.  This is what the Leadership Team calling us to do now.

Third, we put our heads and hearts together and become unified in a common divine Vision.  We talk about the hard stuff, gain a Holy Stubbornness, and create a strategic plan (January is coming).

Fourth, we put our noses to the grindstone and get our bodies busy again.  This time to be better focused and less distracted.  (Easter is going to be wonderful!  There WILL be resurrection.  God says so).

So there you have it.  The next Leadership Team meeting is Nov. 19th at 6:30.  You are invited.  The time is quickly coming to get involved if you want to be part of a new birth in the Spirit.  I have no idea what it will look like. 

Nervous yet?  I am nervous... but also excited.....

Because God is Good,
Pastor Joe

A Pastor's Biggest Embarrassment

Hello Church,

The following is Lesson #3 from my Leave of Absence.  Again, this is more of a personal post that I have shared in the District Newsletter.  It is mostly geared toward clergy, but for those of you who struggle with Co-Dependency, this one is also for you.  

I Don’t Need To Be Needed

Before my Leave, I came to learn that my value as a person was tied up into what I do for a living.  People praised me when I did well and it made me feel good about myself.  People admonished me when I did bad and it made me feel bad about myself.  When people didn’t care about what I do, it made me feel unimportant.  My self-value was tied to my profession.  I sought the value of me in others instead of seeking the value of me in how God defines it.  I learned this over 23 years.  It’s embarrassing.  I have preached this many times to others.  God values me.  That should be enough.  It hasn’t always been.

Lesson #3:  I don’t need to be needed. 

I believe Co-Dependency is a major issue among clergy and I was becoming a part of it.  While I might still care about your opinion (or not), it will no longer be tied to my value as a person.  Truth is, a good portion of my congregation doesn’t know much about my person beyond my job anyhow… somewhat because there isn’t much more to know (another sad commentary on my personal life… see lesson #1).  But I also think it has to do with some people wanting the idealistic, picturesque pastoral leader.  Getting to know me as a person would ruin that (I am not ideal nor picturesque).  Nevertheless, like it or not, I realize that, at worst, I fill a role for people.  At best, I fill a relationship for people.  However, my 23 years has taught me that it is usually the role I fill and not the relationship.  I am the preacher, teacher, prayer, care-giver, administrator, etc;  I am rarely Joe Royer who is devoid of any professional pastoral role/label that has expectations tied to it, realistic or unrealistic. 

This is all the more reason to avoid co-dependency.  If people don’t know Joe Royer, they certainly have no right to dictate my value as a person.  Therefore, your praises and admonishments and apathy of me will be held in the strictest of contexts.  If you think I am a fabulous person because I give good sermons, you can think that.  I won’t.  If you think I am a heartless person because I don’t visit you enough, you can think that.  I won’t.  If you think what I do makes me unimportant, that’s okay.  I won’t think that way.

On the other hand, consider that just because self-value is separate from job performance issues doesn’t mean we shouldn’t deal with job performance issues.  Just because your opinion might be that I am not a good pastor doesn’t mean I shouldn’t try to find ways to be a better pastor.  It just means that our interaction and processes doesn’t affect my self-value.  However, I can and should still pursue excellence.

I don’t know if this lesson refers to a ‘boundary’ as opposed to just an attitude adjustment.  Either way, it has vastly improved my self-care.  The last lesson of 4 will delve even further into my psyche as a clergy.  I hope you join me.

Be At Peace,

Joe Royer (who happens to be a pastor)