My Wife Is Stuck With Me

Hello Church,

'It's all good until someone gets to know me.'

I recently made this comment among friends.  It was intended to be funny, but the comment stuck in my head and I couldn't get it out.  I concluded that there was much more seriousness to it than I had originally intended and it applies to perhaps all of us.

When someone doesn't know anything about you, they are free to perceive anything they would like.  Perceptions about you could be based on anything superficial.... the clothes you wear (or how you wear them), tattoos/piercings, the car you drive, who you are with, how you talk, etc.  For me and in my experience, it is about my label of 'pastor'.  'Pastor' creates all kinds of perceptions for people.  Unfortunately for me, it sometimes raises the bar on how I should dress, talk, act, etc.  Though I fully acknowledge it also opens doors for me as others tend to automatically trust me and share things with me when they would normally be guarded or closed off completely.

'It's all good until someone gets to know me.'

Probably the only person that knows me fully is my wife.  I'm okay with that because she is stuck with me.  However, no one else is.  I've been around long enough for most of my parishioners to get to know me.  While a few will fully accept the lack of perceived 'holiness' that a pastor should exude, when others find out that the pastor is just like any other 'Joe', it can affect relationships.

Again, this isn't unique to me.  All of us deal with unfair perceptions about us.  Guess what?  Jesus did too.  The label 'Messiah' brought all kinds of expectations, none of which came to fruition.  It was expected that He would be a warrior king to overthrow Roman rule.  Instead, He died without a fight.

The lesson?  Don't invest in others' perceptions of you, fair or unfair.  Focus on being the best disciple of Christ you can be.  As people get to know you, those who stick around will stick around for the authentic reasons.  Let the false perceptions flake off along with the people who chose to go away because you aren't who they want you to be.  In the end, you will be around people who love you for who you are.  This creates authenticity all around you, including friendships.

And when a congregation does this?  You have an authentic church.  And isn't that what people appreciate more than anything?.... to be part of a church that is authentic and who authentically worships the risen Christ?  I think so. 

God is Good,
Pastor Joe