Toxic People And How We Treat Ourselves

Hello Church,

We are taught to love one another.  Jesus says so.  We are also taught to love ourselves.  Jesus says so.  So what happens when the first is seemingly in conflict with the second?

It can be extremely difficult to love certain people.  So difficult, in fact, that it can test our own health--spiritual, physical and mental.  We can become resentful and bitter and very discouraged as we try to do what Jesus says....... love someone who, at times, just isn't lovable.

People with toxic behaviors are dangerous to invest in.  The following link is a article that I think hits it on the head.

Toxic Behaviors in others

Investing in such people can cause strain in how you view yourself and in your attitude in general.  In extreme situations, it can drive you to the point that forces you to make a decision:

Do I continue to invest in a relationship with this person?  Or do I decide to love myself?

In the Christian community, we are taught at a very early age to be selfless.  To give of ourselves until it hurts.  Money, time, energy, etc; are all the things we should give, give give.

Yet one of the big lessons that we lack in our Sunday Schools and churches today is this understanding of what it means to love ourselves.  This can be just as difficult we have come to think such a concept can be selfish. 

The love you have to offer is only as valuable as the love you offer yourself.  If you allow yourself to be mistreated by toxic behaviors, it is a form of abuse.  In allowing such, you minimize your ability to show love to others.  Resentful, bitter, discouraged people don't love very well.  And those who think bad of themselves don't have the energy to love very well.

Think on this.  Personal experience has taught me how and when to distance myself from toxic behaviors.  I believe it has made me a more loving person and a more optimistic person.  I also don't believe it puts me in conflict with Jesus' teachings.  I can only love my neighbor as I love myself. 

God is Good,
Pastor Joe