Hi Ho Silver.... Go Away!!!!

Hello Church,

I have been invited to provide a 4-part series for the Ohio River Valley District Newsletter regarding my learning during my 12-week Leave.  I thought I would share part 2 with you.  It gives a bit of a foreshadow on how I will tweak my leadership style moving forward......

Rev. Joe Royer, who pastors Emmanuel United Methodist Church in Batavia, recently returned from a 12-week voluntary leave of absence for rest and renewal. He has four "lessons" from his time away that he shares with clergy colleagues to help with maintaining healthy boundaries.

Lesson #2: Minimize "Lone Ranger" decision-making

Have you ever made a decision that you thought was such an obviously good, sound decision that you didn’t consider that you would have to seek backing and support?  Or thought that the decision was so insignificant that no one would even care?  And then you find out later that you were wrong…. That people disagreed with your ‘Lone Ranger’ decision to the extent that it caused unnecessary discord and even major conflict? 

I am not the church.  I am an employee of the church.  I should stop making decisions that the church should be making, no matter how small or insignificant the decision seems. 

Now, for sure, there are times and places for executive decisions to be made by the pastor.  I won’t go into these few examples here as that is often between pastor and SPRC.

But I am not the church.  I am an employee of the church

I preach, teach and encourage good decision-making.  I communicate what it means to practice Christian behavior.  I administer the Sacraments.  I oversee the leadership structure of the church.  I will even review with the church the many possible decisions a church can make and possible consequences of such.  However, I will no longer take on the burden of most decisions that the church may not have any intention of backing.  This created frustration and discouragement in me and others.  It also created division between the pastor and church leadership.  Let the church be the church while you be you.

To be sure, there are issues of egos and power plays involved here.  I can’t control other people’s egos.  I can control mine.  And, yes, there are times when I KNOW what the right decision is… especially when it comes to spiritual and theological expertise.  I have a Masters of Divinity for crying out loud!  However, even when I am right, I am not right.  In other words, the battles that are created by contesting egos who think what they KNOW is right is rarely worth being right.  So…….

I rearranged the size of my ego.  If any decision can be deferred to a team of leaders, it is.  Anyone asking me for ‘permission’ to do such and such is referred to the appropriate ministry team.  If it takes 6 months of meetings to reach a decision, so be it (another decision church’s make is how to make decisions).  The church will be the church.  I will lead the church, but I will not be the church.

Yet another boundary drawn that has helped improve my self-care.  I am more at peace.  How did I do this?  Lesson #3 will dive deeper into the issue.  I hope you join me.

~ Rev. Joe Royer