Tv's, Zombies and My Very Smart Wife

Hello Emmanuel,

My wife talks to the tv.  I’ll probably get into trouble for writing about this.  Of all people in the house, I talk to the tv more than anyone.  My passion for the Reds and Bengals encourages me to do so.  I know they can’t hear me, but my frustration or my need to celebrate gets the best of me.  I talk to the tv too… sometimes I yell things at the tv (one of the reasons I watch sports by myself).

But the Bengals and Reds are real people playing a real game.  Zombies?  They aren’t so real.

The Walking Dead is a popular tv show.  Kim likes it probably too much.  If she ever has blood pressure issues, it is probably between 9 and 10 o’clock on Sunday nights.  She tries to warn people when there are zombies just around the corner and she will verbally question a person’s wisdom of walking down a dark hallway with a weak flashlight.  They never listen to her.  Then again, it’s been claimed that I don’t listen to her either.  Maybe I’m to blame for her semi-entertaining behavior?

Before I get into too much trouble, I should probably come up with a point for this illustration.  The point is this:  Kim is very smart.  She knows when you are in trouble.  Her skill at anticipating the tragic moment of getting bit by a zombie is unparalleled.  There.  Now that I’ve balanced my critique of Kim’s tv watching and her higher intellect (thus clearly getting me out of trouble) let’s get to the real point.

How often do you talk to God?  Do you talk to God more than you talk to the tv?  I suspect God listens better.  Do you yell at God more than at the tv?  Again… God probably listens better.  I’m not going to spend time discussing how God may or may not respond.  For this MMP, I just want to suggest that there is value in just talking to God, regardless of His response.  There is a certain kind of psychological comfort when your faith says that God listens.  He hears you.  He wants your interaction.

And it doesn’t so much matter your emotional state.  A Pastor of mine once suggested to me that it may be okay to even vent frustration at God….. that God just might be able to handle it.  While we are taught to speak to God with reverence, the reality is that sometimes we aren’t happy with God.  I want you to know that it’s okay.  You wouldn’t be the first.  Indeed, more than one person in the Bible had moments of displeasure with God and told Him about it. 

But what you also need to know is that, while you may vent at God, understand that He inevitably knows best, even when you are the most scared or frustrated or even angry.  In the end, I do believe we will understand all that we don’t understand now.  It’s one understanding that I hold onto even in those moments when I throw up my hands in frustration.  God promises new life.   God also promises peace.  There are days when I’m more thankful for the peace.

So the next time you want to yell at the tv, know that the tv doesn’t care what you say.  God does.  Not that I would ever suggest that God would need to save you from zombies, but Matthew 27:51-53 might say otherwise.  This scripture reference is for Kim to read….. and for my continued entertainment purposes.

God is Good,

Pastor Joe

The Curses of Managing People

Hello Emmanuel,

Managing people is difficult business.  I don’t know how God does it.

Emmanuel, for the most part, is powered by the Holy Spirit to forge forward, even it means to change how things are done…. Even if it means to change who does them.  I’m not sure I’m used to this even after 4 years of it.  It’s certainly refreshing not to preach 40 sermons a year on how to not be in a rut (only 10 or so), but I’m learning that there are different kinds of challenges in such a progressive-thinking church (relatively speaking).

So as the church changes and new and more people get involved, let’s consider what I have seen as the challenges (and how my preaching may be tweaked in the future).

1.  Know when to pull back on the reigns.

I didn’t think I’d ever need reigns.  However, I am learning that there is a certain point when stopping a ministry or keeping a ministry from starting can actually be healthy for a church.  For example, there is a tendency for progressive-churches to duplicate ministry, causing it to become poor stewards of its resources.  Or another example is when leadership isn’t equipped to start such a great idea, setting itself up for failure… or worse… pain and hurt.  Or a third example is when there is an idea that is not going to help the circle chart go around as effectively as another idea might.

I still don’t like to pull on the reigns.  I actually detest the idea and have done it so rarely that I can’t count more than a few instances over the years.  But the great thing about Emmanuel is that resources (time, money, people, energy) will get used.  I’m feeling the responsibility to make sure they get used as wisely as possible (keep the circle chart going, people).

2.  Communication gets more complicated

It’s a continuing frustration for me as my wife can attest to.  I’m concluding that there is no such thing as a perfect communication system.  People plan differently, implement differently and communicate at different levels with different intentions.  I’m thanking Lori, our administrative assistant, more often in my prayers as she has really caught on to the use of the google calendar.  I dread to think what I would NOT have time to do if I spent my week making sure communication in the church was going smoothly 100% of the time.  I would be a very frustrated pastor.

Please, please, please communicate with each other effectively and timely.  When I see disruption or frustration in ministry, it is usually because of a lack of communication.  And while I am not immune to forgetting how to communicate, I can promise you that I lose sleep when I do.

3.  Christian people don’t always like each other

There you have it.  I typed it.  I even put it in bold.  Wouldn’t we all love to see 100% harmony in the church?  I would.  My job would be easy.  The reality is that some people simply will not like each other.  There can be lots of reasons for this.  I can often explain it, but sometimes I can’t.  However, if communication issues wouldn’t take up most of my time, dealing with how so-and-so doesn’t get along with so-and-so would take up much of it.

God loves us all.  We are commanded to love one another.  Sometimes I am to love someone I don’t like too well.  So what?  God has every right to not like me very well, but He loves me anyhow.  If we can recognize that we are all flawed, then we can move forward together by embracing the good that comes out of being a faith community.  And when the chance to hold each other accountable comes along, we can do so in the midst of trust and forgiveness.

So how do we deal with the challenges?

We use our resources the best we can; communicate the best we can; and love each other the best we can and let God take care of the rest.  I refuse to micromanage.  Emmanuel can’t afford a pastor to delve into every nook and cranny of the above issues without there being a cost.  The cost would be a church that is too busy being a perfectionist and not busy enough being a house of grace.  This creates a church that becomes too focused internally and not focused enough externally.

I am blessed to be at Emmanuel.  I am blessed to be freed up to tackle my Call to lead a church to be a disciple-making church.  Let’s continue to do so even as our challenges change over time.

God is Good,

Pastor Joe

Ready To Be Evaluated?

Hello Emmanuel,

My annual evaluation is over….. I think…..

Every year around this time, I am evaluated on two different fronts.  First, Emmanuel evaluates me via the Staff-Parish Relations Committee.  It is a team made up of extremely wise people who have high intelligence, good looks and plenty of great faith…. At least that is what I tell them.

They gave me an ‘A+’ evaluation.  (insert smiley face here…. With a wink)

For those who doubt the high integrity and vast insight of the SPRC, let me attempt to put your mind at ease.  In the United Methodist Church, the SPRC is only part of my evaluation.  I also get evaluated at the District level.  Every year around this time, I go to the District office and have a one-on-one with the Superintendent of the Ohio River Valley District that oversees the 100+ churches in the Cincinnati Region.

Ever hear of the saying ‘flattery gets you nowhere?’

I obviously jest regarding both parts of my evaluation process.  However, it is two very different kinds of evaluating.  For one, with the SPRC, there is an aspect of personal relationships involved.  We work together; do ministry together; solve problems together; create problems together; hurt, love and celebrate together.  It would be impossible not to have an amount of subjectivity when evaluating how I do my job.  It’s human.

So there is also the other side.  The district—because they don’t work among us through the year—get to look at my work from a more analytical perspective.  How is attendance?  Giving?  Membership? Small Groups?  Hospitality?  What are our goals?  How are we going to get there?

Not to suggest that the two parts are entirely polarized.  The SPRC does analyze results as well.  And the District does concern themselves with the relationship between pastor and the church.  But maybe you get the idea that the two help bring fairness to the process.  I like it.

What about you?  Do you like to be evaluated?  Maybe?  Maybe only if you pass?  And what does ‘passing’ mean?  Here is where I suggest we all take a deep breath and give thanks to God.  While it is important to evaluate how we do ministry together, our evaluation is for the purpose of making God as happy as possible.  The good part of the evaluation process is that it has nothing to do with the state of our soul.

Jesus died for you so that your evaluation doesn’t speak to your reward or punishment of your soul either now or later.  Our ministry together is out of thanksgiving for such grace.  I very often feel very free to experiment with ministry ideas, including the thriving or failing of ministry, because God has promised to still love me in any case.  This is partly why I do not sweat during my evaluations.  As much as I appreciate the accountability of the wise SPRC and very cool District office, I do what I do because God has freed me to do so. 

And so I hope as we work together, we do what we do because we are greatly appreciative that God has freed us to do so.  True, I may still feel some pressure to do well in my job, but the state of my soul isn’t on the line.  That is a big reason why, at the end of every MMP, I close it by saying…..

God is Good,

Pastor Joe

Crawl Into Pastor Joe's Head

Hello Emmanuel,

Are you ready to get excited enough to jump out of your box?  (confused?  Listen to the podcast that will be out this week on yesterday’s sermon).

I’m excited and I want to share with you why I’m excited.  As we look toward a new season, I am looking toward a new year.  For many Pastors, Fall brings the question, ‘what can we do to make ministry better?’  Advent is only about 2 months away (for Pastors, that is not very far off).  So I invite you into my head to hear my thoughts.  Scared?  You should be.  The following is indirectly a result of some of my learnings while on sabbatical.

October 29^th will be the re-start of Saturday Night Worship.  People are in place.  Pray for it.  I expect good things.  In addition to what we did last Fall, we are looking to provide a children’s worship time upstairs during adult worship time downstairs….. 6:30 every Saturday.

I’m looking to talk to the powers-that-be (which include God) to tweak the structure of Sunday worship time.  I want to celebrate more.  Worship should be a party.  We may experiment with ways to celebrate in more specific ways.

We are looking to change how we make decisions for ministry at the level of leadership (i.e. Vision Team).  Those impacted will have already received an email.  I won’t go into detail here except to say we are adding a Resource Team (made up of finance, SPRC and Trustees) to compliment the increasing load of the Vision Team.  Trust me.  I’m excited.  More meeting time equals more time to dream, implement and evaluate ministry.  Otherwise I wouldn’t be excited.

We have people stepping forward, wanting to get involved.  That always excites me, though we still have a big hole to fill (Sunday School Teacher for DOC’s…. 4^th-6^th graders).  I am often impatient to see how new people with new ideas will create effective ministry. 

With the (eventual) widening of Old 74, opportunity may (or may not) be coming to obtain more parking.  I’m excited to see what is put before us.

Within the next several weeks, you will see a monitor in the lobby.  We will be able to better communicate with the 200+ people that come through the building through the week in addition to the 180 worshippers on the weekend.  I am very excited about that.

Emmanuel is looking at new possible ways to tackle an ever-aging issue:  how to keep a church relatively clean when it is constantly so busy.  Please pray for us!  I’m very excited.

A new Small Group is in the works for people who want to experiment with Small Group but not necessarily want to make a long-term commitment.  Target start date is November 3^rd.  More details to come.  I am excited.

Emmanuel has slowly become a hub for the traveling Inter Parish Ministry food pantry.  In addition, the county has decided to use Emmanuel to put on a Resource Fair for those who come needing help.  Emmanuel’s space will be used to connect people who are in need to resources that will help them.  Organizations from all over the county will be present.  How exciting is that!!

And the best for last…… Free food will be at church on Sunday.  Inter Parish Ministry will be providing food in the lobby (like donuts… mmmmmm)… as a ‘thank you’ to Emmanuel for all the time and energy we put in to help IPM reach out.  I’m excited!

If you haven’t already, it is time to invest in something bigger than yourself.  Synergy is all around us and it is an exciting time.

God is Good,

Pastor Joe

I'mnotstressedI'mnotstressed.. weird...

Hello Emmanuel,

Have you ever felt like you were coasting through life?  Maybe things were going well or poorly, but you just were going through the motions of a period of time and nothing passionate was snatching your heart. 

My spirit, lately, has felt at ease.  Again, not that it is because things are going well or poorly, just that I have had a sense of contentment.  I’m trying to figure out if this is good or bad.  On one hand, contentment can be a sign of peace.  (Maybe I am doing what I’m supposed to do and it is good)  On the other hand, contentment can bring complacency.  I don’t like complacency.  It can lead to laziness.  I don’t like laziness.

So I feel good about where I am, but am afraid because I feel good about it.  Does that make sense?  My mom used to say that I worry too much. 

Usually this time of year I am very stressed.  I’ve always had a sense of urgency when September gets here for different reasons.  One, I am hoping that those who have missed church through the Summer come back.  Two—and related to one—is to get the ministry programs for the new season in order and running smoothly.  Three—and much less significant—is the anticipated frustration regarding my sports teams.  Will the Reds underachieve again and how many silly mistakes will I watch the Bengals make?

But I digress….

On a much more important note, Emmanuel is in need of leadership and I should be stressed.  For example, there is need for another Sunday School Teacher(s) in order to fill the 4^th-6^th grade class.  Beth Pollitt (who continues to do an extraordinary job with the kids) is looking for a change of pace and has agreed to step forward and lead a new children’s ministry for Saturday night worship (to start at the end of October).  If you have a passion for children, now is your time.  I promise, you will be equipped and have plenty of support to help the kids on Sunday morning become disciples (and you will likely learn alongside them). 

However, I’m not stressed.  This worries me.  Part of my job is to panic at the prospect of a healthy ministry not being sustained.  I’m not panicking. 

Emmanuel also needs help at the Trustees position.  The building has anywhere from 100 to 250 people (many of them kids) using the facility through the week.  The trustees need more help getting things done around the building.  I should be panicking.  I am not.  I don’t know why.

Many of the ministries are going along at a healthy pace, so don’t think that I’m grumbling.  I am experiencing what is typical for a church that goes through leadership transitions on an annual basis.  It’s just weird because I’m not stressed.  Maybe I’m getting old? 

So throughout the next month or so, expect to hear of opportunities for you to get involved.  But for whatever reason, don’t expect to hear it from a stressed pastor.  I’m not stressed and I don’t know why. 

God is Good,

Pastor Joe

Win At All Costs

Hello Emmanuel,

Hope has started her first volleyball season.  As a dad, few things excite me more than watching my kids compete.  I have been driving her to practices and games with anticipation in my soul, imagining my 5^th grade daughter diving all over the court with knee pads in place, sweat dripping from her brow, and a look of determined excellence on her face.  That’s what I imagined.

Her?  Not so much.

5^th grade volleyball players evidently cement their feet to the floor.  If the ball happens to come their way, they hit it.  If not… well… someone else can get it.  It probably isn’t cool to be flying around everywhere like some sort of….… competitor.  In addition, the social aspect of making friends is much more important than paying attention to the game.  Scoring a point (for either team) is only an opportunity for giggling and social interaction.  The question as to why Dad is sitting in the crowd with his head in his hands is seemingly avoided altogether.

So I watch.  And I clap my hands when the serve goes over the net.  And I tell her ‘good job’.  All the while, my inward competitor is moaning and groaning.  It’s one of the reasons I could never coach kids at any level for any sport.  Watching the process of developing an athlete is agonizingly slow in my mind.  I would lose my patience way too soon.  I know.  I proved it.  I coached Joey’s t-ball team.  It was just as agonizing as I thought it would be.  And it wasn’t good for the health of family relationships either.  Just ask Kim.

Experiencing my competitive fervor in the church has been interesting over the years.  I’ve had to find ways to put my fervor in the right places and in the right way.  It isn’t always easy.  I lose my patience at times and need to find safe places to yell and scream (and, no, it isn’t at home.  That also isn’t conducive to healthy relationships).  Indeed, having a study that is padded and sound proof isn’t always a bad idea.

But honestly, my years at Emmanuel have been pretty good.  I’ve learned to compete in the right ways… here’s some of what I’ve learend:

Compete against unholy behavior.  Don’t compete against people.

            The opponent of the church isn’t people.  The opponent is behavior that opposes God’s will.  When I am able to remember what we are competing against, I can help keep the church focused and keep people encouraged and empowered to do holy stuff.  However, when I forget and think that we are competing against people who God created (unbelievers or other churched people), then I inevitably hurt relationships. 

Compete against faithlessness.  Don’t compete against other churches.

            The biggest temptation is to try and bad mouth the church down the street so that I can make myself look better.  It may be my biggest flaw as a pastor (besides my thick sarcasm).  It’s easy to get defensive when people point out what a better church the OTHER church is.  I need to remember that, for the most part, churches are all on the same team.  They may try to do things differently, but ultimately our goal is to spread the gospel message. 

Compete to bring unity.  Don’t compete to be right all the time.

            People like to be right.  And when someone is right, then that means someone else must be wrong.  Being right or wrong can too easily define a person’s worth.  People feel good when they are right and feel bad when they are wrong.  People can feel more important when they are right; less important when they are wrong.  This isn’t God’s way.  A person’s worth is connected to who created them, not to what their opinions are.  It’s one of the reasons I discourage taking votes in committee meetings.

            The art of compromise in the context of God’s Vision for the church is a much more difficult task.  However, it can be much more productive when a ministry team can effectively dialogue about any given issue and come to a compromised agreement that doesn’t put the Vision at risk.  I have found it to bring more unity to a church and less people ever feel disenfranchised, excluded or unwanted (and by extension, sometimes rejected by God).

These methods don’t always solve my dilemma.  I’m still heavily competitive and need to find ways to compete outside my role as pastor.  I just need to make sure no church people are around to watch me.  My halo has been known to quickly fall off my horns.

… now… for that padded, sound-proofed room….

God is Good,

Pastor Joe

It Can Get Personal

Hello Emmanuel,

My wife Kim preached to me yesterday.  This time it was from the pulpit (hehe).  I might be biased, but I think she did a very good job, other than the part where she revealed my odd obsessions.  I also must admit that it felt odd to be at Emmanuel on a Sunday morning and not be preaching.  However, the United Methodist Women led a quality worship service.  It’s good to know that the church is being led by many more people than just me.  This leads me to this week’s MMP.

I’ve always felt a big part of my untapped potential was in the realm of family counseling.  It’s been untapped mostly because, as a pastor, the many hats that I wear keep me from putting all my energy into any one area.  This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but I’ve learned over the years that I would need to be good in many areas instead of excellent in any one area in order to be an effective pastor.

I’m not sure that it is AS true at Emmanuel.  A church that establishes itself as Vision-driven rather than Pastor-driven changes the dynamics of how a pastor can interact with the church.  A Vision-driven church that has Vision-driven leaders doesn’t need a pastor to micromanage every program.  This frees me up to do other things.  Like what?

On Sunday I had more than a couple of people wanting to talk to me about personal matters.  In my younger years, I would have also gladly scheduled to talk, but knowing that it would be on top of the many duties I had at the pastor-driven church.  Now?  I realized yesterday the blessing I have to dive a bit deeper into my untapped potential without worrying about getting curriculum, doing the bulletin or preparing music.  Now I have a little bit more freedom to talk one-on-one with people regarding many different issues, but all pertaining to striving for healthy relationships.  Sometimes it is about family.  Sometimes it is about Church.  Always it is about relationships.  And I’ve always felt this was the meat of my Call:  striving toward healthy relationships.

I still don’t feel like I’m close to being as good as I could be as a counselor.  A part of me wants to pursue my Masters in Social Work and get a whole lot better.  But helping equip Emmanuel to ‘make disciples of Christ’ is a whole lot of fun.  If there is any a time you need a listening ear, let me know. 

God is Good,

Pastor Joe